


Every time you fall (Follow me)

by targaryen_melodrama



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, POV Sam Wilson, Sam Wilson Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 01:18:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17736287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/targaryen_melodrama/pseuds/targaryen_melodrama
Summary: The problem with Steve is that he’s an optimist. What surprises Sam is that Steve’s optimism includeshim.





	Every time you fall (Follow me)

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you to my wonderful friend for beta'ing this story, and for listening to me complain about my lack of inspiration so often.

The problem with Steve is that he’s an optimist. It shouldn’t surprise Sam―you can’t put yourself in the hands of a doctor experimenting with science that might as well be magic, or have the morale of the entire country on your back without the ability to hope, faithfully, that things can somehow, some way, turn out fine.

What does surprise Sam is that Steve’s optimism includes _him_.

“I―I don’t know, man. This? Going public? It’s huge.”

Steve looks as perplexed as he did a minute ago, when Sam, comfortably scrolling from Steve’s couch, had suggested that Steve not use his upcoming GQ interview to announce the fact that they were dating to the world.

“Sam. I know things are different what with Facebook, Twitter and the, ah...the Room shade―”

“The Shade Room, baby.” Sam’s kind enough not to laugh, even when Steve’s forehead creases in that _I’m annoyed, but trying not to let it show_ way.

“Yeah. That one. Things are different, but I’m used to having people invade my life. This century too, you know?”

Sam does know. Hanging out at the Tower as much as he does these days, he’s heard some variation of “The paparazzi can kiss my ass” from each and every single one of the Avengers. But this is different, and how can Steve not see that?

“I just wanna make sure you know what you’re getting into.” 

“Is that what it’s about?” Steve asks, soft, inquisitive, and worried all at once. Sam would have no choice but to tell the truth, even if Steve hadn’t also reached for his hand and intertwined their fingers, and made all of Sam’s hesitation fall away. _Had to go and get yourself a sweetheart for a boyfriend, didn’t you Wilson?_

Sam sighs and slowly lets his head fall on Steve’s shoulder. “Yes. No. Maybe.”

Steve chuckles and turns to kiss Sam’s forehead. “What’s wrong?”

“The fact that America’s sweetheart is dating a gay black man is a huge part of it,” Sam says, and Steve nods. “It’s the main part of it. It’d be one thing if I was the only one affected by it, but my mom, Sarah, Kiara...I’m worried.”

“We can go over the security plan one more time with Tony and Maria?”

“Yeah. That’d be nice.”

“And the rest of it?”

It’s Sam’s turn to chuckle. He’s not getting away with anything. “When it goes public...it’ll be the real deal.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we’ll be together. _Together_ , together.”

“You saying we haven’t been _together together_ this whole time? What do I have to do, Sam Wilson? Buy an even tighter workout shirt? I will if I have to.”

“Well damn, Rogers. By all means, don’t let me stop you. No,” Sam says once he’s done laughing, “I mean you’ll be my person and I’ll be yours and everyone will know. And I just…I hadn’t realized it till just now.”

“Do you not want us to be each other’s people?”

“Of course I do. Us being each other’s people is the best thing that’s happened to me in years. And that’s―that’s the problem,” Sam realizes as he says it. “I don’t remember the last time something this good happened to me. It’s...it’s a lot.”

Sam had barely made it through Riley’s passing. He’d held on by the tip of his fingers, lifted himself up just enough to get help from the folks at the VA, and found joy and redemption in helping people there once he got better. But this? Not just meeting and working with Captain America, but getting to know Steve Rogers and falling in love with him? On good days, Sam feels lucky. On bad ones, he doesn’t know if this is real and worth getting attached to. On the worse ones, Sam’s not sure if he deserves any of it. Steve’s love. Friendship from the Avengers. Forgiveness from Riley’s parents.

“Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe that I’m here. That I made it. That get to be here, with you. Saying it out loud―saying it out loud is scary. It makes it real. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

Sam only realizes he’s crying when Steve runs his thumb under his eyes, then kisses the stray tears away. He brings his legs up on the couch and tugs Sam between them so that they’re chest to back, Steve rubbing circles up and down Sam’s arms.

“We’ll wait however long you need, sweetheart. Okay? But can I tell you something?”

Sam nods.

“I thought people had gotten a little better. Especially with the Internet and...and―the Shade Room.” Sam can’t help his laugh and gets a pinch on the arm for his troubles. “I thought that extended to the Press. That people would understand the need for privacy in this day and age. Quickly figured out I was wrong, to say the least. And when I did, my strategy was to give people enough to not dig further, and hope that little glimpses into my life would be enough. And then I started showing people some pretty important stuff. Stuff that mattered to me. Coming out as bi, for example. And even though at first I did it to control the narrative, like Pepper said, I realized I liked it too. I like being the one to tell people who I am, for a change. I like sharing the things that are important to me. And Sam? You’re the most important to me. I want people to know. You’re right that talking about it in my interview will make it real, but I want that. But only if you want it, too.”

Sam turns to kiss Steve. It’s a moral imperative, after that speech.

“I know that an interview won’t change how you feel,” Steve says, his forehead against Sam’s. “I don’t want it to. I want for us to work together and hopefully one day get to the point where you feel like you deserve this. And until you do, I’ll be there every step of the way. Every tumble, every misstep, every bad day and bad night.”

Sam’s a bit at a loss for words. Looks like Steve’s inspiring speeches include Sam too.

“I love you.” There’s not much else for Sam to say at this point.

“I love you too, Sam.”

He’s heard the words so often by now, but the voice in his head tells him it’s all too good to be true. For now, Sam lets himself be fully wrapped up in Steve’s arms, where he knows he’ll get love, comfort and affection―and hopefully a bit of Steve’s optimism, too.

 

 **End**.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Fic and its title inspired by Mother Earth, by Banks. 
> 
> Feel free to leave comments, as always, they make my day. 
> 
> I am on [Tumblr](https://targaryenmelodrama.tumblr.com) if you wanna drop by!


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